


All's Fair In Love and War (Phan)

by philgarita



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Fanfiction, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-11 01:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4415378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/philgarita/pseuds/philgarita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan Howell has three simple rules for surviving his fear year of high school:</p><p>1. don't lose your friends<br/>2. don't piss off bullies<br/>3. don't get involved in a love triangle</p><p>And he's managed to do all three on the first day, all for a boy named Phil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start Game

"Daniel, have a wonderful first day, luv," mum chimed from the kitchen, dangling a brown paper sack with my name written on it, "don't forget your lunch, dear."

I groaned at the cluster of tiny hearts she had doodled beside my name in sharpie, "Gee... thanks mum... but don't you think the hearts are a little... kiddish? Please tell me you didn't put a note somewhere too."

She spun around and cupped my cheeks in her hands, gazing into my eyes with prideful sadness. "Oh, my little boy is all grown up! Already 15 years old!" she sighed, planting a kiss on my forehead, "too good for notes and the like. Tomorrow, you can have a perfectly plain grown-up lunch if you wish." I blushed and tugged away. I always felt so awkward when she got nostalgic.

"I'm not that grown up, mum. But I should go... I want to arrive half an hour early so I can find my class ahead of time."

She checked her watch and nodded in agreement, handing me the lunch. "Sounds good, darling. Now go, make some friends!"

"I already have friends!" I groaned, "I have PJ and Chris, what more could I need?"

With one final goodbye, I rushed out the door. It was already starting to get cool, the last hints of summer heat draining from the darkening sky. I fished through my backpack for a while until I found a black hoodie and slid it on, flipping the hood for maximum mysteriousness.

I hadn't realized how close I was to the school, since I had only had the time to listen to 'I'm Not Okay (I promise)' three times before I arrived at the tall, metal gates, which were vaguely reminiscent of a Hogwarts-esque design. I shut my eyes tightly and gulped as my fingers mindlessly traced the masonry of the stone border.

I felt sick as a dozen questions suddenly flooded my mind. What if I don't end up with PJ in my class? What if I get shitty options? What if I get lost? Late? get on the wrong side of a teacher? I -

I shook my head violently and pull my hood down, taking one final calming breath. "Is you a wuss?" I mumbled to myself. Convinced I wasn't, I placed one ginger step beyond the gates, followed by another and another.

I can do this.

I can -

"Stop!" someone shouted, and I froze. Slowly I craned my neck, searching for the source of the voice.

"Oh shit."

Out in the field, near the sports shack, four teens of varying sizes were swarmed around someone... and they seemed to be kicking him. Their dark hoodies concealed their faces, making me feel rather uncomfortable in my own.

"Please... stop it! You're hurting me!" I heard the voice sputter as I jogged towards them. I stopped a few feet away, hiding behind the shack. I had to assess the damage before I could do anything...

Besides... was it worth it? I didn't want to get on their bad side so early in the game, that's social suicide, but -

"P-please..."

My eyes widened as the boy on the ground moaned in pain and turned towards me, his hand outstretched... his eyes pleading. The bullies noticed immediately and turned towards me, though I managed to duck behind the wall before they saw me. My heart pounded in my chest as I realized what I had to do.

"Right," I mumbled to myself, "I'm going to regret this." The door to the shack was unlocked and I rushed in, searching around desperately for something... anything, to fight back with. Several mesh nets filled with volleyballs dangled from hooks on the ceiling, a few stray footballs were strewn across the floor, and a few discs were stacked on a shelf. Working quickly, I dove for a metal bat that was propped up against the wall and rushed back outside.

"Oi," I growled, clutching the bat tightly in my sweaty palms, "leave him alone."

Two of the bullies noticed the bat and took off immediately, sprinting at full-speed towards the school. The two larger ones, however, weren't very intimidated by a thin boy with a fringe and skinny jeans. I gripped the bat and darkened my gaze.

There was a moment of silence as the two dumb-faced thugs stared at me, at the bat, and then back at me. I caught a glimpse of the boy on the ground as he curled into a ball and moaned, blood trickling from his nose and cut lip.

My attention was pulled back to the bullies when they both began to chuckle. "Fuck off mate, you don't scare us."

"Scared your friends." I retorted.

"An' they'll pay for that later, but don't make me hurt you too," the other spoke, cracking his knuckles, "you look like this boy, y'know. Both got the emo hair and the faggy jeans." I groaned internally. Of course, more homophobic slurs. Just great!

"I wasn't aware my jeans had a sexuality, but thanks." I could see their shoulders tense, which gave me an idea. I'd have to think fast. It was clear that even this bat wouldn't be enough to hurt them, since I had the strength of a six-year-old. "So if you idiots have a problem with me, then go right ahead and try and catch me, twats. Or are you too utterly stupid to understand a simple command? Come on boys!" I spoke in a high-pitched, eager voice, as if I was calling over a dog and not two gigantic brutes, "come on! Come here!"

"Get him!" the taller one hissed, and they both lunged towards me. Startled, I swung the bat as hard as I could, which connected with his side, winding him and leaving him gasping on the ground, clutching his side in pain.

I dove for the boy, who was still lying there, and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him onto his feet. "Can you run?" I asked worriedly as I helped him up. He winced in pain.

"I-I don't think so..." he whimpered. The remaining lad, who had paused to help his cohort, sneered at us and rose to his feet, walking towards us with a malicious grin.

"Get on my back." I commanded quietly.

"W-what? I-"

"Now!" I yelped as the bully drew nearer. The boy, still dazed, leapt on and though he was quite a bit taller than me, I was too focused on escaping with my life to worry about my aching back and wobbly knees. As we reached the entrance, I set the boy down and helped him up the stairs. The bully, who had been jogging after us, grunted in frustration between pants and gasps for air.

"This isn't over, queers." he spat as we rushed inside. I slid down the wall, breathing heavily. The boy leaned beside me, and we sat in comfortable silence for a spell.

Eventually, he caught his breath and managed a weak but grateful smile. "I... thank you... I thought they were gonna kill me!"

I shook my head and smiled. "No problem, I couldn't just leave you there... what did you do to get beat up before the first day even started?"

"They went to my primary as well. The bullied me all through last year..." he sighed, "it still hurts a ton, but I'm used to it." He absentmindedly wiped at his still-bleeding nose.

"Let's go to the bathroom to get you cleaned up..." I said worriedly, guiding him towards the men's toilet, "will you be okay? Are you going to go to class looking like this?" I gestured to a few bruises that were forming on his cheeks and nose.

He took a wad of tissue paper and used it to plug the bleeding, wetting another piece and using it to dab at the dried blood. "No," he said with a faint shake of his head as he began rummaging around in his knapsack, "I came prepared." After a few more moments, he withdrew a small compactor and open it, revealing foundation.

It was an extremely pale tone, just like his porcelain skin. He began to blend the makeup over his bruises until they had almost completely vanished. If I weren't any the wiser, I'd say he was perfectly fine.

"That's impressive! But..." I trailed off.

"But what?" he asked, placing the compactor back in the bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Well, you know, have you tried telling someone? A teacher? Your parents?"

He simply chuckled sadly. "Of course I have. I've tried everything. But the more I struggle, the more I sink." He fell silent and I swear I could see the sting of tears in his eyes. After a few moments, he spoke again in a much cheerier tone. "I'm Phil Lester by the way." He extended a hand.

I shook it with a smile. "It's nice to meet you Phil. Call me Dan."

"Well, Dan, thanks for saving my life." And with a gentle smirk, he had vanished from the bathroom and into the hallway, just as the bell rang.

Phil, huh?

... I like that name.


	2. Tutorial Level

I stood in silent awe for a moment at the space where Phil once stood. I could still smell the faintest hint of his cologne in the air, not too strong, not too flashy. It was just right. I inhaled deeply, and then nearly choked on the air.

"Oh shit!" I shrieked. The bell just rang. I'm going to be fucking late on my first day, kill me now! I honestly felt like sinking to my knees and waiting for Satan to pull me down to hell where I belong, but instead I scrambled for my stuff and sprinted out of the bathroom at top speed, rushing past unfamiliar faces.

I reached back into a side pocket and pulled out a slip with my time table written on it sloppily in blue pen.

French - Room 12

Fortunately, it was on this floor. I dashed down the hall, counting down the door numbers. "Twelve, twelve, twelve..." I muttered beneath my breath, "twelve! Thank god!" Undetected, I slid through the door just before the teacher stalked in, her eyes trained on an attendance list.

I was late to the party, so all the good seats were taken. Even worse, there was no sign of PJ or Chris, so I suppose it didn't matter either way. Hastily, I scanned the room for the best seat I could find... some sort of familiar face... anything!

Then I froze. Staring at me with icy blue eyes from the very back row... was Phil. He was at the window seat, his cheek resting in his hand. The sunlight that filtered in through the half-drawn blinds cast a shimmer on his gentle smile. I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I beelined towards him and set my things down. "M-mind if I sit here?" I asked quietly.

He nodded vigorously.

"S-so you do mind?"

He paused for a moment, confused, before giggling. "Heh, no, no, I meant you can sit with me Dan. What am I going to say? No, you can't sit with me person who saved me from four attackers?" he joked, just barely audible to assure nobody overheard.

I leaned back in my chair and stretched. "So are you good at french?" His eyes widened and he merely shook his head, which was all I needed to see to know he most definitely was not. "Me neither," I sighed, "I just did it for the easy gra -"

I was interrupted as the professor cleared her throat and smiled, peering over the class from behind her red, horn-rimmed spectacles. "Bonjour! Je m'appelle Mme. Dubois, et je vais vous enseignez cette année!" She smiled through scarlet red lipstick.

My jaw fell open and Phil and I exchanged a worried sideways glance. What the hell did she just say? Her name is Madame Bois or something. That's all I got.

"Well we're fucked." I mumbled. Phil merely nodded.

* * *

As soon as we stepped out of class, Phil grabbed me by the sleeve and pulled me around the corner to a small, isolated hall.

"Uh, Phil, what are you -"

"Shh, I've wanted to do this all class."

"What?? Phil, what are you on about?" I asked, blushing profusely. There was a flutter of nervousness in my stomach. What was he planning on doing? I winced as he reached out and...

Fixed my tie?

"You did it completely wrong. You basically tied it like a knot, silly."

I breathed a sigh of disappointment relief. "Yeah... I'm pretty bad at it." I chuckled as he stepped back, flattening the tie and smiling.

"Good, now which class do you have?" he asked, peering over my shoulder as I unfolded the time table once more. "Free period? Fuck yes!" I grinned smugly at him. "Haha, you have class and I don't." 

He shook his head and smirked. "Actually..." Removing a white paper from his jean pocket, he held it up and gestured to this period's slot, which also read 'free'. "I'm lucky to have at least two classes with you, I don't really have... other friends."

"See, I genuinely find that hard to believe because you're quite nice. How about you eat lunch with my friends and I today? PJ and Chris would love to meet you, I reckon!" A smile flickered on his lips, his whole face lighting up with excitement.

"Dan... I don't want to impose." he said softly as we began to stroll down the now-emptied halls. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't mention it," I said, "now, I think this would be a good time to find my locker, my stuff is really heavy. I'm locker 286. You?"

"290, that's not too far. I'll take you to them! I know my way around this school as much as attending the open house and snooping around a bit allows..." I followed closely after him as he took a right turn, passed a glistening trophy cabinet and a few class photos, and strode into a long strip of lockers. "Yours is around here somewhere."

* * *

After almost an entire hour of wandering the halls chatting or just enjoying each other's company in silence, the bell sounded and students began to file out of their classes and crowd the halls.

"This is where I leave you. Math class, wish me luck..." Phil sighed.

I smiled reassuringly, placing a hand on his shoulder gently. "You'll do great, Phil. Besides, we have lunch after. Meet me at the lockers and I'll take you to meet my friends, I promise. Alright?" Phil smiled once more, his face beaming like a ray of sunshine.

"Alright, Dan. I'd like that."

I could hardly take my eyes of his as he vanished into the crowd.

* * *

History was as boring as I had expected. The teacher was bald except for a few tufts of white hair, and he struggled to make out even the largest of writing. However, Chris was in my class, and every time I felt like I was just about to collapse from the monotony of it all, he'd mutter some joke or impression and I'd have to struggle to stifle my laughter. Thankfully, he kept me going.

"So, I just realized we don't really have a usual spot to sit at anymore, do we?"

Chris shook his head. "PJ told me he found a nice shady spot under a tree out in the field... we're supposed to meet him out there."

The field...

Phil...

"Phil!" I yelped, "shit, I nearly forgot to ask. I met someone this morning erm... in class... and I was wondering if he could eat with us. He doesn't really have anyone else to -"

"Of course." Chris said through a mouthful of his sandwich. "Where is he?"

I stopped in my tracks and pointed. "There." Phil was standing there, leaning against his locker with his arms folded. He looked anxious. "Phil?" I shouted, waving at him. He turned towards me and grinned, his worried look melting away immediately.

"Dan! I was worried you'd forget..."

"Of course I didn't!" I chimed, ignoring Chris' sharp elbow digging into my side. Okay, so I did, momentarily.

Chris took a step forward and bowed, stretching out his hand to shake. "Chris Kendall, at your service," he winked, "I'm a Libra. Charmed, I'm sure."

"Aquarius." Phil laughed, taking his hand gingerly and shaking it. "Thanks for letting me eat with you guys. It sucks to spend the first day alone."

Chris walked ahead of us, leading the way to the so-called 'perfect spot'. Phil and I chatted quietly behind him. What I learned today: he has spaghetti for lunch, he really likes lions (judging from the lion lunch box which is absolutely adorable), and his favorite color is blue. The more you know!

As soon as we stepped outside, I noticed Phil tense up. He glanced towards the shed nervously, fiddling with his hands. I had almost completely forgotten about the bruises, since he covered them so well. I nudged him gently and smiled, mouthing 'are you alright?'.

He nodded but... I knew it wasn't sincere.

Peej was right as always, there was, in fact, a broad aspen tree. Beneath it, I could see PJ's figure sat cross-legged and waving frantically. His curly hair was hidden under a beanie. I quickened my pace to greet him, Phil following closely at my heels.

Sitting down by the tree, I patted the grass beside me, gesturing for Phil to sit.

"Who's this?" PJ asked with a smile, waving to Phil.

"PJ, Phil... he's a new friend," I leaned in and planted a kiss on Peej's cheek, causing him to blush, "Phil, this is Pasquale..."

"Oh shut up! I hate my real name!" he laughed.

"Alright, alright," I sighed, rolling my eyes, "this is PJ, my boyfriend."


	3. 2-Player Mode

**Phil's POV**

"Dan, wait!" I yelled, jogging down the stairs after him. Dan glanced up from his phone, looking around wildly until his eyes found mine and he smiled. He leaned against the stone wall, one hand in his pocket, where he had placed his phone, the other mindlessly tugging at his tie. I rushed over to him. "Glad I caught you! I just wanted to thank you for earlier on... you saved me from a few broken bones, I bet."

He smiled, but I noticed a hint of worry in his voice. "If only I had gotten there sooner... will you be alright?" Ignoring the throbbing pain throughout my body, I nodded reassuringly. I don't want him worrying about me.

"What's really bothering me is your tie. You've undone it again!" I tsked, taking a step forward and adjusting it. He smiled as he watched my hands at work, until I felt him tense and pull away. My eyes flickered over to wear he was staring, rubbing his neck anxiously.

PJ stood at the top o the stairs just outside the school, his arms folded. He watched us closely and I gulped. Peej lingered at the top of the stairs for a moment, his eyes fixed on me, his lips pursed. As he began to stroll towards us, Dan hurriedly changed the subject.

"Erm, Phil, I see you have the new Nokia phone... pretty... s-swish..." he stammered, followed by a nervous chuckle. His eyes kept darting back to his now-suspicious boyfriend. Playing along, I dug it out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"Yeah, just got it actually. Sort of a 'high school' gift from my mum -"

"Hey Dan!" PJ chimed, strutting past me and giving him a hug. Dan quickly lowered the phone, a defensive, bewildered look in his eyes. Had he been typing something? No... it couldn't be. PJ's smile faded and he turned to me. "And Phil." he stated flatly, looking me up and down through a partial glare.

Dan, obviously extremely uncomfortable, handed the Nokia back and smiled weakly at me. "I should get going now, bye Phil," he turned and pecked PJ's lips, "bye... Peej." Pulling his own phone out of his pocket, he glanced back at me one last time before vanishing beyond the stone wall.

I smiled awkwardly. "Bye PJ, it was nice meeting you." I began to walk away, but was pulled back sharply by the sleeve. He had wrapped his fingers tightly around my arm by now, his nails digging it to my skin.

"Phil, can we have a little chat?" he hissed. Trembling slightly, I turned back to him and nodded softly. He held on tightly until the last remaining students climbed onto the busses or went their separate ways. Promptly letting go, he smiled meanly. "What do you think you're doing?"

I shook my head in confusion. "I-I... I don't know what you're t-talking about..."

"Bullshit!" he snarled, "Dan is amazing, he's everything I've ever wanted. He's kind, funny, handsome, and you are not taking him away just because he's your knight in shining armor and you're some smitten little schoolgirl."

I shoved him away, staring in disbelief. "I'm not trying to steal your boyfriend, PJ! You don't have to act so paranoid."

He stared for a moment, his piercing eyes intent on mine. After a long silence, he laughed cruelly. "Oh my god, you poor boy! You don't even realize what you're doing, do you? The lingering glances, the tie-fixing? You're infatuated because he saved you, that's all!"

I clenched my hand into a fist, gritting my teeth. "I'm not infatuated!" I shouted, "he may have saved me but -". My mouth fell open slightly, my hand unfurling, my eyes narrowing. "PJ, how did you know I was attacked?"

His smile faded for a moment, but quickly returned. "Dan told me, of course."

My heart sank. "What? No, no, no... he wouldn't! He knew I wanted that kept secret."

PJ frowned sympathetically. "Look... Phil, I'm sorry about this. I get jealous easily. But... I'm sure Dan didn't mean any harm when he told everyone."

"Everyone?" I choked. PJ nodded grimly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I felt too weak to pull away. My anger towards him had faded, now redirecting itself towards Dan. "I... think I should go home now." I gulped, trying to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away and turned swiftly on my heel, sprinting away.

How could he? Dan knew I covered those bruises for a god damn reason!

I wiped at my eyes. Maybe I should have been more clear? I... no, no. He should've known. I should've known this is what I get for trusting somebody.

* * *

I reached my house and flew up the steps, throwing the door open and slamming it behind me. I lowered my shoulder, allowing my bag to slide off my arm and onto a hook. Mum poked her head from the kitchen and smiled.

"Phillip! How was your day, dearie?" she wandered over and planted a kiss on my cheek, drying her hands on a dish cloth. I forced on a smile and nodded eagerly, feeling at least some relief to be back home.

"It was good!" I chimed, perhaps a little too happily. I began to loosen my tie as I climbed up the stairs. As I was half-way up, she appeared again.

"Oh, I'm so happy to hear that, luv. Did you make any friends?"

My smile faltered, and I reached down to where the phone bulged in my pocket. "I... don't know yet." Before she could reply, I quickly scaled the last few steps and ducked into my room. I dug out my phone and began to flip through it.

What? I stopped scrolling and frowned. There was a new chat with an unknown number I didn't remember ever entering.

**hello? who's this?**

I sent the message and waited, flopping onto my bed with a comforted sigh. I shut my eyes for a moment, but was jarred back awake by a faint ring.

**Hey, I'm guessing this is Phil?**

**yeah... but who r u?**

**Guess! :D**

I smiled softly. I knew who it was.

**Dan?? how did I get ur number?**

**Well what did you think I was doing on your phone?**

**Idk. Trying to find my nudes? XD**

I laughed, rolling onto my back and smiling. I quickly changed the contact to Dan :3

Dan :3 is typing...

**pHILLIP how did you know??? ;)**

**So how was your first day?**

**better, thanks to u I somehow managed to avoid death**

**I, too, enjoy not-dying XD lolzor**

I groaned aloud, running my fingers through my hair.

**did u just... say lolzor?**

**Don't judge me!**

**But how did you and PJ get along?**

**Do you like him?**

**Yeah! Yeah, he's great ur lucky**

I bit my lip and rolled up my sleeve, wincing slightly at the tenderness. Five small, circular bruises where his fingers had dug into my wrist. Slowly, I unbuttoned my shirt and pulled it off, examining the marks. Deep purple bruises ran up and down my sides and over my stomach. I sighed, leaving the shirt on the ground and returning to my bed.

**So... Dan?**

**Yeah...? :/ Is everything alright?**

**Yeah, I was just wondering u didn't tell anyone about this morning, right?**

Dan :3 is typing...

**No! Of course not! Why, did you want me to?**

**really? it's just... pj told me u did**

Dan :3 is typing...

I swallowed, my throat felt really dry. I left the phone on the bedside table and quickly darted downstairs and into the kitchen. Mum wasn't anywhere to be seen, so I assumed she was out getting groceries or something. Reaching into the cupboard, I retrieved a clear, grooved glass and filled it with tap water. When I returned to my room and traded the cup for my phone, my heart sank.

**Don't lie to me, Phil.**


	4. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ao3 doesn't do it for me, so I won't be posting the story here anymore.
> 
> You can still read it on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/45216085-all%27s-fair-in-love-and-war-phan  
> Or fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11404923/1/All-s-Fair-In-Love-and-War-Phan 
> 
> There are already a whole bunch more updates on there than on here.

Ao3 doesn't do it for me, so I won't be posting the story here anymore.

You can still read it on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/story/45216085-all%27s-fair-in-love-and-war-phan  
Or fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11404923/1/All-s-Fair-In-Love-and-War-Phan 

There are already a whole bunch more updates on there than on here.


	5. Chapter Eight

Part eight was released last night on Wattpad, go check it out!

https://www.wattpad.com/159553172-all%27s-fair-in-love-and-war-phan-part-eight-game


End file.
